Keeping America Stupid: (Satire) Pat Roberston blames Earthquake on....

[blackleatherbookshelf]

VIRGINIA BEACH (The Borowitz Report) – Evangelist Pat Robertson sparked controversy in today’s broadcast of his 700 Club program by saying that yesterday’s mild East Coast earthquake was God’s revenge on people “who act kind of gay. All across the Eastern seaboard, there are men who get manicures, wear designer eyewear and know about thread counts,” claims Rev. Robertson. “God finds this somewhat gay-like behavior confusing, and He responded by getting mildly peeved.”

The televangelist warned that if Americans persist in their “seemingly sort-of-gay behavior,” the country should brace itself for additional ambiguous acts of retaliation from the Almighty. “God will strike back at people who act sort of gay with all kinds of mild responses,” he said. “If you keep getting pedicures and facials, you can expect two to three inches of rain and some really hot humid days in your future.”

Rev. Robertson said that New Yorkers who reacted in an over-the-top way to yesterday’s temblor “run the risk of moderately annoying the Heavenly Father yet again.”

“God looks at people who get their panties in a twist after a little shaking, and He says to Himself, ‘Wow, that’s really kind of gay,’” he said.

Comments

[maxauburn.livejournal.com]

I'm really sick of people like Pat Robertson, who plays up to the gullible and uses fear to control and manipulate them.

God is NOT human; God does not possess hate - hate is a human foible.

It must be a wonderful thing for so many people - to have a God who hates the same people that they do.

[tbrough.livejournal.com]

max - as the beginning of the title notes, this was a satire ala The Onion.

[vamapper.livejournal.com]

It hit in the heartland of Virginia; Falwell and Robertson country. My guess is God is trying to tell them they are full of crap. I guess they're not listening.

[tbrough.livejournal.com]

This was a satire ala The Onion.

[grizzlyzone.livejournal.com]

I think he's being facetious.

[tbrough.livejournal.com]

This was a satire ala The Onion.

[fogbear.livejournal.com]

Huh. I didn't see "Satire" when it was on my friends page, but I immediately suspected it was from the Onion.

[broduke2000.livejournal.com]

Just think: The epicenter was only 151 miles away from the center of Pat Robertson's Broadcasting Empire, and now there's a Category 4 hurricane headed for it.

Maybe the is a God.